Rory’s Journey into Fatherhood
Rory, who adopted his little boy at the age of one, offers a unique perspective on the reflective process of becoming a parent. He talks about how adopting his son meant thinking deeply about his own childhood and what kind of parent he wanted to be. Adoption, he explains, involves a lot of preparation – way more than the “natural” approach, where parents might not always think about every aspect of parenthood until it’s happening.
Rory also touches on the concept of therapeutic parenting – a technique that encourages parents to step into their child’s shoes during stressful moments. For instance, if gymnastics is cancelled and your little one has a meltdown, instead of brushing it off with “get over it”, therapeutic parenting helps kids feel understood, helping them manage their emotions better.
Joanne’s Playful Parenting Approach
Joanne’s got her hands full raising a three-year-old and a four-year-old, who recently experienced the stress of moving house with a young family, she says the playful approach can enlighten your daily life as a parent, and bring out a side to you that no-one else sees.
“I do get worried as they get older that I’m going to want to be a bit silly and they’re just going to be embarrassed”, the inevitability of parenthood!
However, both our guests believe in balance. While Joanne might be playful, she’s also firm about healthy eating and kindness, whilst making sure her children grow up with the right values.
Play and Discipline
Both Joanne and Rory agree on the importance of balancing playfulness with boundaries. Rory jokes about how he sometimes struggles with being both a dad and a friend to his son. His therapeutic parenting style encourages him to be relaxed and playful, but setting boundaries is just as important.
Downtime is Essential for Parents Too
Parenting can be hard work and both Joanne and Rory acknowledge the importance of downtime. Rory admits that before he became a dad, he couldn’t see why parents would leave work events early – even if their child was already asleep. Now, he understands: parents need a moment to breathe after a long day. Joanne recounts how weddings are her only child-free events but admits they always leave her more tired than when she arrived.
Navigating Parental Pressures
Joanne reflects on the societal pressures that come with being a mum. She mentions how she often feels responsible for remembering birthdays, posting cards, and managing the small details that seem to fall under the “mum” role. Rory is quick to agree, noting that while he doesn’t feel the same pressure, he’s aware of how much his wife carries.
The infamous “mum guilt” is real, but Rory’s household mantra, “you can have everything, but you can’t have everything”, helps them stay grounded and be aware of what is important in life. Prioritizing what matters most reduces that guilt and helps them focus on the important things.
Surviving the Social Life Juggle
Social lives and parenting don’t always mix but you’re never alone in this. And meeting other parents? They both agree that you quickly find your “tribe” when you become a parent. Something about the shared exhaustion and wisdom makes it easy to connect with others with shared experience.
Parting Advice for Parents
The podcast wraps up with some solid advice from our guests. Joanne’s go-to tip? Make everything playful. Turning daunting tasks into fun experiences when possible can make life easier for the whole family. Rory emphasizes the importance of sharing the load, dividing and conquering when it comes to managing family life. At the end of the day, being a parent is a balancing act, and it’s all about finding what works for your family.
To find out even more from Rory and Joanne, check out the latest episode of The Simple Life Chat’s – New Chapters: The Parenting Special.